Is this dream coming to an end?
2 Years on. That level of satisfaction that I thought I could derive from my job seems to be missing. I cannot seem to find it any where that I look.. When I was doing well, things seemed to be fine and dandy, when I'm not, it is the most dreadful feeling ever.
The witchunt had began from the day I started, but only recently has it seemed much more intense.
Where was the glitz and glamour that I thought was in this? Where is it now?
The mood and atmosphere is gloom, coupled with an exceedingly intense goal to achieve more than what we have used to achieve, with less people, and with less available means to make it.
Some people are able to evolve and play the game, and remain useful. Some people get stuck and cannot move on, they drop like flies. What about me where should I stand?
Give it two more years? 1 Year - i will get 20, the next, maybe 40.
Thats it. 2 More years for a combined sum of 60. That doesn't look good at all.
What about moving back to the East? That would probably increase from 20 to 60 and then to 90.
But what do I lose when I gain? I lose my aloneless. My Obtuseness. My ability to dump eastern society out of my mind.
I am not certain if I could pay that price.
I think not. I think happiness will not be there at all. With that extra 60 I am not able to be free, or feel free in the East. With that in Taiwan, maybe, in America, maybe, but not back home.
Life is to be lived free. To explore live and learn. You gave away 2 years and all u got was a shitty business card.
Is it worth it to keep pursuing a dream that seems to be less and less grand?
Is it because of the pay that disillusionment sets in? Or the lack of confidence?
What do you want really.
I think you want to get away. You want to live a life outside of the Group. You just want a peace of mind, where people outside, in fact, everyone outside, will look at you in awe and wonder how u did it without following the rules that people have written about in books and written all over society.
Thats probably what you want, a nihilistic ending where you could put up your middle finger in front of everyone yet achieving respect.
Quitting and going to Taiwan.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
The witchunt had began from the day I started, but only recently has it seemed much more intense.
Where was the glitz and glamour that I thought was in this? Where is it now?
The mood and atmosphere is gloom, coupled with an exceedingly intense goal to achieve more than what we have used to achieve, with less people, and with less available means to make it.
Some people are able to evolve and play the game, and remain useful. Some people get stuck and cannot move on, they drop like flies. What about me where should I stand?
Give it two more years? 1 Year - i will get 20, the next, maybe 40.
Thats it. 2 More years for a combined sum of 60. That doesn't look good at all.
What about moving back to the East? That would probably increase from 20 to 60 and then to 90.
But what do I lose when I gain? I lose my aloneless. My Obtuseness. My ability to dump eastern society out of my mind.
I am not certain if I could pay that price.
I think not. I think happiness will not be there at all. With that extra 60 I am not able to be free, or feel free in the East. With that in Taiwan, maybe, in America, maybe, but not back home.
Life is to be lived free. To explore live and learn. You gave away 2 years and all u got was a shitty business card.
Is it worth it to keep pursuing a dream that seems to be less and less grand?
Is it because of the pay that disillusionment sets in? Or the lack of confidence?
What do you want really.
I think you want to get away. You want to live a life outside of the Group. You just want a peace of mind, where people outside, in fact, everyone outside, will look at you in awe and wonder how u did it without following the rules that people have written about in books and written all over society.
Thats probably what you want, a nihilistic ending where you could put up your middle finger in front of everyone yet achieving respect.
Quitting and going to Taiwan.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:On plane enroute to Osaka
posted by deadpoet at 3:09 PM
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